Row your Boat Down the River of Hestapholes

New god DAMN file up in this whore of a blog. Listen to it with both hands or hans. Do you feel it? Its a cool breeze that will end this heat wave. There is no cure for this type of stigmata. I am sorry, We have to amputate. With this rusty shovel.

Synopsis
There is a new file on the left there where every other file is.

Time&Space have always been a mystery to me.I digress:shove a corncob up your dog's ass & give your uncle a hammer to the tune of the national anthem!

I'm back mafuckaz, with a new found outlook on stuff... & things. new file Ted's Buff Shit is now up, listen to it, don't listen to it, engage in a staring contest with a .44, what the hell do we care?
No seriously, i'm asking you, why should we care? you don't know, i don't know; but the pope does. GO ASK HIM!!?

Medicated Closets

I have reached another writers block. So it may be awhile till the next files comes out. Audio synthesizing has led to a dead end really. Can't simulate voice changes well enough to use it as a replacement. Balls.

I have never seen the actual Santa Claus. Every year I try to see him but never have. I am having starting to doubt his existence.

Guess what I have in my hand. What?!? No, it's not a transsexual professional wrestler! It's a dead lobster!

Well fuck I just posted up a mad libs file plus all the recent scripts. In the mad libs file I also included Shakespearian insult comedy as well. Woo!

My birthday is tomorrow. But that doesn't matter. "Why the fuck would he tell us that? No I can't accept that as truth. I will write an angry email to his dog now!" Because negative nelly, My birthday falls on a holiday. Its called Alice Day. I wasn't the one who made it by the way. Its celebrated world wide by pedophiles and sex offenders. Really it exists.

I will be experimenting in audio synthesizing. Don't worry about what it means. Just lean back. Further. Just a little further. Now almost fall backwards. Your just experienced Iraq.

Here, hold the map while I drive.

Well I finished two audio files and they should be posted all up on the left there. See them? Thats hot. I have decided to leave Product the way it is. And maybe one day making an extention.

New Ideas include, Video Dating services, Cancer research experiments, Non-smoking versus smoking debates, Clown story of some type, and Altering Pictures.

Resurrection and Resacrifice of Jesus

Sorry for being gone for awhile. I was at some shit ass crazy competitions. They were hot but thats beside the point.

Anyway I have a traditional Rampage file just about ready. I also still need to fix product and Benjamin files. I think I come up with a few good ideas in the next few days though.

Interesting side Note: I have some sort of cold like sickness. I probably babbled chicken too much and caught salmonella Fitzgerald.

Perception

My point of view changes as I listen to music. Its part of my insanity really. Thats why I listen to music while making audio files. When I made Ted's Fat shit, I got some MF DOOM for the first time. It changed my perception enough to help me make a completely different audio file compared to the rest.

I think Perception is easily changed if you really need/want to change it. You can be a fucking optimistic bastard who can't get sad ever....ever! or a gloomy son of a bitch who convinces other people to quit and throw away grapes or something like that. For me, my only time I have perception in either direction is when I am listening to music. usually I don't care enough to even have an outlook on whats happening around me. And I usually end up just mimicking the people around me. Luckily, since I don't care about most things, I am almost impossible to offend as well.

I am going to improve on The Benjamin and Product Audio Files. I don't feel they are done yet. But first I am going to take a small break, and going to experiment with mad libs.

Tin Boxxed Confessions

I threw up Benjamin and Product audio files. They have minor spelling errors but I will sort that out eventually. I also added the missing scripts to the Scripts list. Yippee!

I am working on another "Rampage" file right now. I am also planning the second part of product. Also thinking of extending Ted's Fat Shit yet again.

Keep out of the Frying Pan if you can't Sink Ships.

Merge Spines with your Aunt

Every time I come up with something good for the audio files, I am way from the computer. And I am very forgetful.

Still working on the Benjamin and Product files.

Chubby Fish with an USB cousin.

I am one third done with the Product audio file. Also I have finished my draft of the Benjamin audio file. Still no real traffic but still a good place to keep my insane rantings.

Ted's Fat Shit

I remade Ted's Fat Shit, the audio file. Its about three time as long. It also includes his adventures after he gets out of the hospital.

We also have a new program for the Text to Speech conversion. It gives us more options. Plus annoying water mark is gone as well.

Interesting Side Note: Since John Hancock signed his name all big, Does that mean that another founding father couldn't sign? Fuck john Hancock then. He says that he signed big so that the queen of england could read it. I don't think thats it. I think he just wanted Delirious Jack out of the way of his global domination schemes. I was Delirious Jack.

Pass the blunt to the nigga on the left!

I have decided to expand on Ted's Fat Shit audio file. Seemed incomplete to me and my associate; JD, who will start making his own contributions (including revisions to this exact sentence, hey everybody!).Back to Sef- My writers block file will be uploaded tomorrow. And I just got another author.

Planning on posting the aristocrats file on youtube.

Molten Candle Wax

Keep in mind, any of my five listeners can comment with ideas and suggestions. I can change the audio files that are posted anytime.

My next audio files will be about random community projects and things along those lines. I will also make one about writers block eventually.

Keep in mind this is still a very small time blog. So help us bring some new listeners in if you can. Please? No? Alright. Alright! Damn I understand! No reason to get so fucking offended.

School and Compuer Related Sexual Innuendo

I posted Two more audio files. Find yourself a friend and listen to it with them. Now!

Aristocrats Is Done.

Its 33 minutes long and is best heard while looking at the script. Just plug the script into a word proccessor and it will be easier to follow. Tubular!

Good Luck with all the random joke scattered through out the Epic Joke.

New Audio File!

I just posted anouther audio file to the left there. Just have a kick back and listen to it if you would like to. Can't kick back? Then this probably isn't for you.

I took a thesaurus to the aristrocrats joke. Just going to post it some time today. Got sick of working on it to tell you the truth.

Psychedelic Idea

Ever see someone working really hard on something and they happen to pass and you hear them kinda talking to themselves? I mean physical labor and not that godless cubicle jobs. Anyway I think the reason they sorta whisper to themselves is a instinct that humans have to help them think. Let me explain.

What I mean by this fucking strange theory is that on a subconscious  level, everyone is whispering to themselves. Just when your panting for breathe its just a little more obvious. I think its to help assimilate the thought process in such a way to save energy. Remember hearing for the first time that people only use ten percent of their brain? This may be why or something like that.

Well try this. Try holding your breath and thinking of something. By holding your breath I mean, let no air in or out. Don't pass out! Anyway try thinking of a relatives name or solving a math problem or something. You can post in comments what happens. Keep in mind this is just a theory of mine.

Mulch?

Remember that ice storm that fucked up all of the trees in the central states? Well I helped someone get some branches out of their yard today. Anyway When we unloaded the branches at a kinda community branch dump place,  They were burning it. That struck me as a bit stupid.

I think we could make better use for that lumber. Like the bigger pieces could be sold for lumber or fireplaces or something like that. And the smaller pieces could be mulched up and sold to other states for spring planting or something. Damnit It may have provided some relief to some of the more screwed people out there.

O well It was just an observation I made today.

Cold Cuts

I bet some of you are wondering why we use the Speaking notepad program instead of just talking into a microphone like device. I am not very articulate. In fact some may say that I have a speech impediment. And to those people I say felch shit from your gay lover's eyes.

Anyway I decided to take a break from the aristocrats joke. I will probably write some type of fake product advertisement.

Over time I will also provide scripts so people can know exactly what I typed to get the program say the shit it says.

Updates

Alright I posted all the audio files there on the left. See it on the left there? I knew you would. Anyway they all start with an intro that we cant get rid of right now. So don't worry about it. Also CJ may not be able to post anything new.... ever!

I am working on an aristocrats joke right now. Never heard of them? Look it up on Google video or something. Anyway its up to 37 minutes long. I should be able to get it up to an hour long.

Possible other names for this Fucking Blog

Here is a list of proposed names for this blog:

1. Fresh Soup
2. Suck my Dick
3. We are not douche Bags
4. Midget Hammers
5. The exact name we already have
6. Demented Machinations
7. Your Phone is Ringing
8. Mr cold pants and his band of merry men
9. Lazy bones
10. Industrial Porn
11. Sponge
12. Cancer Causes Tobacco
13. Pirates who prevent Global Warming
14. Diced up prostitutes
15. Scripted Violence

We are going to start posting little Audio Files somehow Later